Night in the in the Rain
by YellowAsphodel
Summary: Severus Snape is being followed on his way to Spinner's End one night. Faced with a situation that hits too close to home, can he help the child that follows him? Moreover, can he help their mother?
1. Night in the Rain

It had been raining torrentially for hours now. In the morning the sky had still looked a pleasant blue, but clouds had started to form quickly as the day wore on due to the sultry weather that had dominated most of Britain these last days. It certainly was a relief once the rain had started, but people got grumpy and irritated as the rain simply hadn't shown any signs of stopping soon. As much as they wished for it to stop, their wish was not fulfilled. Adding to this was a light mist that lingered over the streets and squares of London and over the green water of the Thamse. In Manchester the situation was similar. People were grumpy and only the few wanting to go their local pub down the corner of the street to have fellows to complain about the wave of bad luck that had hit their country, dared to set a foot outside their homes only to get instantly drenched instead of 'just' wetted.

'Bloody weather!,' hollered a man with a heavy mancunian accent to his companion, ' I tell you Jack, I always told my wife we'd be better of in a place more sunny, but she didn't even want to consider the thought of us moving away from Manchester while we still had money… Not that I silently agree with her over not wanting to move, but this weather is dragging me down, making me depressed. I mean if you only had a look at it! Our whole stupid street is flooded! This time Mary can call the fire department on her own to ask for our basement to be pumped out!' a man gruffed to his friend Jack.

'Our's is even worse, David! Thank God the pub is open through this! What will you take? A pint?", he snorted derisively, "Ha! Jean told me t' stop drinkin' so I don't strike the kid again. What was I s'posed t' do? She couldn't even do the washing up correctly. Broke two goddamn glasses and nearly brought down the whole damn shelf. Not like money grows on trees! Has to learn a lesson, she has!"

"Yeah, Jack!", David agreed, "What should you do when the bastard is not stoppin' to cry? Nightmares, he says. Sebastian recently broke up a good night's sleep with his howling. Not as if people will treat him more kind once he's out of 'ere! No one will respect an' obey him if 'e don't stop that snivelling, really! He got to stand up and fight for what he wants! A disgrace he is, behaves like his sister. He's gotta learn to stand up like a man! My son's not goin' t' be a coward for God's sake!'

'Should serve him right, mate! Things won't get easier with the years an' if 'e doesn't learn control and to obey, when then? As for my daughter: I can only hope she doesn't take to mouthing off more often, God knows the freakish clumsiness is bad enough. Enough of this! How 'bout a game of pool with the rest of the guys to cheer us up?'

Their voices rung through one of the many poor streets of east Manchester and died down only when they had arrived at their pub and had shut the door firmly behind them so as to let none of the cold or rain inside the building.

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A few yards away in a small alley in between of two blocks of terraced houses a dark figure stood stiff. They had been tense all along but at the second man's, Jack's; words had tensed up even more. Not a sound or motion came from the person. The man stepped out of the dark alley and continued walking down the street like he had only moments before he was interrupted by the two men. He kept closely to the dark shadowy walls of the houses as if he didn't want to be seen and even quickened his pace. He was dressed all in black. His trench-coat with the flipped up collar and the completely buttoned up front, his thick woollen scarf which covered most of his face, only to reveal his dark eyes and the upper part of his nose, his boots, yes even his long hair were completely jet-black. He blended in perfectly with the dark of the night and was barely to make out through the heavy rain. The man could barely see though the veils the rain created as everything looked blurred. He glanced around discretely every ten to twenty steps to make sure no one followed him. Little did he know that he was being watched...

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I could not understand why anyone would show signs of anger about the way my father treated me. Look at David, he even encouraged it and did the same to Sebastian; I bet that his drinking and factory companions would only agree too much. To them all, even to my own father, I was a freak. A freak because I could make weird things happen, things which frightened my father, things which made him beat me and I could not help but grow weak every time he raised his hand towards me. And every time I had grown weak I had started to hate myself because I had wanted to please him. But I could not change who I was, my mother told me, despite my father's hated of my powers. She told me that I was a witch and that when I turned 11 I could go to Hogwarts school and live in a castle with lots of other magical children. She could only tell me about magic when my father was out and even then she was reluctant to do so. My mother had been such a fool to marry my father. Even now after so many years of abuse she wouldn't leave him. I didn't know if they were in love but if that is love then one thing I knew about it with my 6 years in this unfair and miserable world, is that I wouldn't recommend anyone to fall into its trap. It only made you weak; it made you lose your independence and because of that I didn't believe a word all those people on the telly said about how love makes us stronger and how people who couldn't love should be pitied. Mother secretly took me to Dragon Alley a couple of times. We always drank a vile potion that would change our appearance. Even in Diagon Alley she would not use her wand. We always had to wait to slip in behind someone who had opened the passageway before us. I once asked her why she didn't use magic but she only became very cross and tightened her grip on my hand.

Although I had put on nearly all of my clothes I possessed I was still shivering and the rain continued to fall mercilessly. I was hungry too and had no energy anymore to run. I just wanted to sink against the wall of the brown terraced house behind the corner of which I had watched my father go into the pub to spend all the good money on alcohol instead of something to eat or clothes for mother and I or fuel for the house. Behind this corner I had also seen that dark man listen to my father and David from a corner on an ally which lay a little opposite to mine on the other side of the street. Behind this corner too had I seen him cross the street to continue waling on my side of Hodge Terrace, continue walking to the left and quicken his steps. And from behind this wall I had gotten up from my crouched position, quickly rounded the corner and ran after him, as silently as possible.

There was this certain air of secrecy and mystery about him which intrigued me as I quickly set out to follow him. I could sense something. Something like I only felt when I let my magic make things happen. I hoped that this man would be my saviour from my miserable life.

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AN: I'm not sure how long this is going to be, however, I'm open to any suggestions as to where you would like to see this story go. I might be able to incorporate them.


	2. Encounter in the Rain

**AN: Harry Potter beings to Warner Bros. and J.K. Rowling. Canon compliant, except for EWE? and Snape, Lupin, Tonks are still alive. Dumbledore is alive as well. Snape did kill him that night on the Astronomy Tower but he faked his death and revealed himself to the wizarding world following Voldemort's death. I turned Cokeworth into a neighbourhood of Manchester.**

 **I thank you for reading and reviewing.**

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He had just returned from one of the monthly check-in meetings of the Order. They were still being held at Grimmauld Place, with Potter's blessing. He and Ginny lived there now, happily incognito in Muggle London while still in comfortable Muggle commuting distance from their Ministry jobs. After the defeat of the Dark Lord at Hogwarts seven years ago the last Death Eater sympathisers were still being captured, tried and taken to Azkaban. Severus didn't always need to attend but today Kingsley, the new Minister of Magic, had needed him to look over lists of old Death Eater sympathisers and snatchers who had been captured the past month.

Molly had unsuccessfully tried to persuade him into staying with the rest of the present Order members for dinner. However, at Arthur and Albus's insistence, he had stayed so asto hear about progress in the blending of magical and muggle methods in the creation of antivenins - if only to find a loophole to deride that annoying, no longer Trainee, Healer Agustus Pye the next time he ran into him in the hallways of St Mungo's. He had to force himself not to reach up to rub his collar several times during the conversation. In the aftermath of the mayhem that had swept over the wizarding world following the Dark Lord's demise he had taken up a temporary consulting post in the potion brewing division for trauma-response at St. Mungo's. Somehow, he found that he had stayed and was still working for them seven years on, now as the division's director, however.

Contemplating the captured snatchers his thoughts had turned to Hermione Granger. According to Poppy and the healers at St. Mungo's she had saved his life after unfathomably returning to the Shrieking Shack when Potter and the Weasley boy had left him for dead. Upon discovering that he had cheated death when waking from a coma four months later, he was torn between berating her for not granting him peaceful release from this weary life or begrudgingly thanking her for her optimism in not giving up on him. However, he was unable to do either. The girl had vanished a couple of months prior in a snatcher attack.

Six miserable months later Ministry Aurors had found the group of snatchers that had captured her. Finding her kidnappers had not helped them to find Hermione Granger, however. Under incessant questioning by members of the Order, from Potter, over Kingsly, all the way to Minerva, legillimency sessions with Dumbledore and Snape as well as an improved version of Vertitaserum, the snatchers had finally relented and admitted that "that Granger girl had escaped two months before" and that "no, they did not know where, nor had they heard anything about her".

And in the years that followed that statement would continue to ring only too true. No one would hear anything from her. There would be sightings, yes, but all trails would prove to be long cold by the time the Order got onto them. There also was no means to trace her magic trough Ministry records. It seemed like she had vanished off the face of the magical earth as if unwilling to be found. And if she was unwilling to return into the magical fold the only hope any of them had left was that she had made a successful life for herself as a Muggle. The possibility of her death was one no one dared to voice aloud.

After escaping Molly's fussing and taking some leftovers from dinner with him ("you need to take better care of yourself Severus, really", she admonished him) Severus Snape was on his way to Spinner's End from the closest apparition point on Sweep Row. He was just thinking about the fact that Dumbledore had said he'd come by later in the evening for a night cap, when Snape heard voices stopping his swift return home. Albus also wanted to bring by a copy of Healer Pye's article on antivenins in _Healer's Quarterly_ that Arthur had mentioned, as well as new research on Occlumency and Legillimency. But that would have to wait a while longer as he pressed his back to the wall of the house on the corner of Sweep Row and Hodge Terrace, unwilling to be seen.

Despite the heavy pounding rain he could make out their words. Heeding the warning that repressing his emotions for so long had wrought harm in his mind, he refused to throw up his Occlumency shields. He was slowly getting used to occluding less and less during the past few years and let the words of the two men wash over him. When talk turned to Jack's "freakish" daughter he grew still and could feel his anger rising, the epithet so reminiscent of Petunia's name for Lily. David's words left a bitter taste in his mouth... "snivelling", "disgrace", and then - "coward". Unwillingly he found himself thrown back into his childhood and his past, scenes flashing suddenly before his eye - unable to hear the pounding of the rain or feel the rough stone of the wet wall digging into his hands.

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 _He was back in the dingy kitchen huddled into a corner as Tobias held a bottle threateningly over his wife's head... Bellatrix calling him a coward before gasping in surprise at his command to take out her wand for the Unbreakable Vow... His figure curled in on itself on that same living room carpet years earlier as Tobias shouted at him to not be such a coward ... Eileen telling him to stop making thing worse and take the high road by "not talking back to your father, Severus, please"... Standing on the Astronomy Tower with Dumbledore whispering the same words, both knowing what needed to be done... His father kicking him in the stomach over waking him when leaving the house to meet Lily... Sullenly waiting in the offy_ _in line for beer_ _with a note signed by his mother_ _on a warm weekday night in summer_ _... Mr Evans frowning at a bruise on Severus' arm where the shirt rode up, asking if there was "anything I should know about" and if it "was it those neighbourhood kids?"... Granger's body bloodied and broken as he rifled through the snatchers' minds... Passing the bathroom in Spinner's End the summer before seventh year, hearing his mother sob softly inside... Seeing Granger sobbing in the second floor girl's bathroom at Hogwarts as he probed her mind in the hospital wing... Her's and Eileen's faces blurring into one as snatchers and his father round in on them... Ushering an unharmed Granger and Lovegood girl inside the safety of his office to look after Filius... Escaping Hogwarts from under Dumbledore and Poppy's concerned gaze, lying freezing in the snow under the willow by the_ _river behind Spinner's End on Christmas Eve after Lily's death, remembering Lily and him there as children... Lily laughing with delight as she threw a look over her shoulder asking him to help her push the swing higher, the brilliant evening sun reflecting off her hair..._

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The men's voices quieted suddenly as The Cokeworth Cannon's door fell shut behind them. The loud thud shook him out of his reverie at once. Cursing at the scratches on his hand from where he gipped the wall took tight, he rounded the corner, crossed the street and continued on his way. Too caught up in worry over this sudden resurfacing of the long dormant demons of his past it took him longer than he would have liked to notice splashing sounds at odds with the rhythm of the rain. Gripping his wand in his pocket, he turned around and saw a young girl running towards him.

She looked to be no more than six or seven years old, her dark blonde hair matted to her head by the rain - not unlike the hair of that Jack fellow, he observed, - and wore pitifully threadbare clothes. He was about to tell her to get the hell home and out of this rain, when she came to stand two feet in front of him and he felt it: the girl had magic. And as if reading his mind she asked cautiously but clearly, and, for a kid from Cokeworth, most wondrously enough in the strangest middle class accent:

"Sir please excuse me but - do you have magic? Like I do?"

And when she raised her eyes to his face, wide open despite the rain, he thought he had finally succumbed to madness, healer's warnings about his excessive Occlumency use echoing in his head. The eyes that stared at him out of that young face reminded him eerily of a similarly inquisitive girl he once knew: Hermione Granger. And, as if to make this madness complete, he heard yet another upper-middle class voice, so familiar yet at the same time different, shout at them from further behind his back:

"Lorna! Get back home this instant! What did I teach you about staying out late and talking to strangers?"

The girl in question - Lorna - it half-registered with him through the haze of his shock, peeked behind his back and back at him again.

"Shit... Sorry, sir, that's my mum - she must be very cross..."

Then, closer, no more than a foot from behind his back, he heard the same voice say in a tight tone:

"I'm so sorry, sir, if my daughter was bothering you but-", the woman's voice caught in her throat as he turned around and disbelievingly found himself looking in the stunned face of one twenty-five year old Hermione Granger.

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 **AN: Hope you enjoyed! I thank you if you kindly took the time to review.**


	3. Recognition in the Rain

**AN: For disclaimer please see previous chapter.**

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Except for minor lapses of judgement Hermione Granger had always thought of herself as rational and sensible. So how she managed to get captured by snatchers remained a mystery to her to this day.

She lived a plain life, so far removed from the safe comforts of her upper middle class upbringing - but safe from discovery by the wizarding community. She had been happy with Jack at first but as the years went by... Should she have known better? Had she been too young? Or was it naivety? Looking back she remembered the feeling of relief of having found a life no one would have expected if they searched for her. But now she thought if only she could do magic, then she could confound Jack into signing divorce papers and realising his dream of moving south with his best mate and the latter's wife, looking for a new life. But she couldn't and so she had to be careful. With her magic lost and defenceless she didn't dare return to the magical world. Except for occasional visits here and there that left her shaking with suppressed fear when she came home, hoping no one had followed her and Lorna. But even these small visits took time. After her her ordeal with the snatchers she just wanted out and away.

She found a reprieve in muggle Manchester - possibly the last place anyone from her past would look for her - and finding a plain man, she married Jack, thinking herself secure from coming to the attention of the wizarding world. No one would suspect her here, married, with a different first and surname. She was used to living her life as a muggle and kept telling herself she didn't mind - so long as she and Lorna were safe from snatchers and Death Eaters. "Even if it meant putting up with Jack's?", her mind whispered.

What would happen once Lorna started showing more signs of accidental magic that couldn't be explained away? She didn't know and feared the day Lorna would turn 11. So far she'd been able to come up with convincing lies to calm Jack but it was getting more and more difficult. Not only to hide Lorna's magic but to put up with Jack's verbal and physical getting worse by the month. If only she could find a solution...

It had been years, surely the wizarding world wasn't a worse place to be than her and her increasingly belligerent husband's home? She felt sick and wracked with guilt for leaving Lorna in this situation. But the fear of being found out and her Lorna being tortured by Death Eaters left her helpless. "Why she didn't divorce dad?", Lorna had asked her recently - but Hermione could only lie to her and say that daddy had a hard time at work recently and that she should be patient, things would improve, she'd only had to wait and see. So she knelt down on the carpet to hug her daughter tight and chased away the images of Lorna screaming in pain as a mad voice shouted "crucio" in her head, over and over again. These were the thoughts that occupied her as she stood in the cramped kitchen staring unseeingly at her hands and mechanically drying the dishes.

In the distance thunder sounded. Startled out of her musings, she fearfully and furiously realised that it was 6.30pm and Lorna wasn't home. She hastily pulled on her shoes and jacket and to go outside to meet Lorna who would surely be on her way back home.

She did find Lorna. But not on Lorna's usual way back home. She found her more streets away than she would have liked and, with fear and anger, saw that Lorna wasn't alone. And, as she approached them and the man turned, she felt her face drain - for she found herself staring into Hogwarts' former Potions Masters' eyes.

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He could only stare in shock. He had found her... After years of successfully not wanting to be found, he found her here, of all places, in dismal Cokeworth.

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 **AN: I thank you for your reviews in advance. Let me know what you think!**


	4. Decision in the Rain

**AN: Thank you all so much for all the reviews! You're wonderful! Please keep them coming.**

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Through his shock he registered that she would most likely grab her child and run if he didn't make it clear he wouldn't force her to return to the magical world if she did't want to.

Drawing a deep breath while still holding her eyes with his gaze he said in as calm a voice as he could muster:

"I won't tell anyone that we met. Nor of your whereabouts, if you don't want me to. I promise you. There is more peace in the wizarding world now than there ever was following the war. The snatchers that hurt you have been caught and are spending the rest of their life in Azkaban. You have little to fear. And...," he grudgingly added, "Potter and company are doing well." She blinked rapidly but did not run.

Encouraged by the fact that she was still watching him and not running but mindful of the rain and her and her daughter's threadbare coats, he continued carefully in a deliberately nonchalant voice with:" You must live quite a bit away. I've never seen you round these parts?" Casting a deliberate look at her and the child's soggy clothing he continued, "I'm just past the next street... if you would like to come in for some tea and", he knew that now he could either scare her away or encourage her - since she hadn't run by now he decided to be bold and continue with, "Molly's excellent cooking?" Through the rain he noticed the young woman move back just the slightest bit and blink rapidly.

Deciding that if he was in for a penny of risk he would go in for a pound:

"in case you have doubts, I really won't tell - I know you ran away and wanted nothing less than to be found."

Hermione's eyes left him, her grip on her daughter's hand tightened and she swallowed hard.

"I swear to you I won't look for you if you don't want to see me again," _please hear me out, please don't run_ , "Mrs. Hermione... or is it... Jean now?", he trailed off, uncertain. At her narrowing of eyes suspiciously at him he continued, "I overheard a man talking about his wife, Jean, who looked like he could be this one's father. Same type of hair, similar cheek bones."

He cast a look at the girl beside him, who stared at them in wonderment and confusion, as if this would prove to only be a dream that she would wake up out of, if she made a sound or moved. Why did this man call her mother Hermione? Her mother's name was Jean. Her eyes widened in shock. Her mother had always been so tight-lipped about her past. She had told her that one day, when she'd be older, she would get an expiation. Oh how she wished she knew. And this man... Did he and her mum know each other? Thinking of him she noticed the wizard staring at her intently but on hearing an odd noise from her mother she turned her eyes to her.

Severus reeled. Lorna not knowing that her mother's real name was Hermione? Not knowing of the greasy Bat of the Dungeons? How much had she hidden from her daughter?

Tears had sprung to Hermione's eyes and she'd had to suppress a sob of longing at the mention of Molly and some proper home-cooked food. She could feel her daughter's eyes on her. Someone, anyone, _him_ of all people calling her by her real name, calling her "Hermione" caused her to break her silence.

Looking as much at her daughter as at Severus she straightened her back took a breath and said: "It's Mrs Fairbanks now actually, sir," she hated the way her voice was too high, "but-", her voice cracked and for a long moment she had to draw breath and start again, before managing to release, " but Miss Granger -", she grew momentarily light-headed, felt her throat tighten and tears spring to her eyes. She clutched at the hem of her soggy coat, drew another breath and continued "is fine, too, if you wish." Pause. "Thank you, Professor."

She heard a soft chuckle: "There is no need to call me Professor, I no longer teach", came his reply somewhere through the rain as she waited for her eyes to clear. Noticing her distress and reluctance to use her first name - all the while wanting to show her that things had changed - he kept his tone deliberately light and said: "Very well, Miss Granger, the choice is yours. Sir, Mr Snape," small pause "or Severus, if you wish, is fine. Whatever you feel comfortable with." he perceived her hand slowly unclenching from where she had gripped the fabric of her coat.

Hermione looked at her daughter, conflicted. Should she and Lorna go and have Molly's cooking with Snape? Real food for Lorna, instead of her own poor attempts at cooking anything edible? What if Jack found out she had gone to the home of some stranger? But hadn't she contemplated leaving him, just this past hour? This would a perfect opportunity to set it in motion. She just had to be had ensured her he wouldn't tell anyone about where she was. Or force her to return to the magical world. And whatever he was, she never remembered him to not mince his words.

He didn't look any worse for the wear, in fact he looked healthier than she had ever seen him - if the wizarding would was stable enough to keep himself safe maybe rioting Death Eaters and Snatchers weren't as big a problem anymore as they had been directly following the war, he could help keep her and Lorna safe as well and... maybe, with his help, they could find out how to gain her magic back and deal with Jack? Perhaaps confound him into signing divorce papers and, together, with David and his wife realising their dream of moving south?

She could go to a muggle university or continue the healer training she started with St. Mungo's. And Lorna could seize her scholarship as a boarder at that excellent primary school in a richer part of town and come home on weekends to a nice home... all those possibilities. Oh how she longed to give Lorna a safe and happy home.

Lorna held her breath. Her mum had still not answered the question. Would they have dinner with him? Get out of the rain quickly? If her palm would not have been wet from the rain already, it would have been sweaty in her mother's hand. With baited breath she waited for her mother to continue speaking. _Please, mum, please._

Hermione took a deep breath and, not knowing how, she managed to say:

"Thank you... sir, for your kind offer. My daughter and I would be so happy to take you up on it." There was a momentarily shocked silence from all parties at her decision. Snape kept silent, not wanting to give Hermione reason to second guess her and her daughter's route to safety, not after seven long years of looking for her.

Lorna couldn't believe her luck. A teacher from Hogwarts, here, in their neighbourhood, how was this possible? And mum had allowed them to have dinner with him too, at his house! She would never want to leave.

Breaking the silence and bending down to her daughter, Hermione said: "Lorna, meet Mr Severus-," her breath hitched, "Snape,". She swallowed hard. Her voice had caught when she said his name, it had felt so strange on her tounge. "Hogwarts' former Potion's Master, when your mum was still at school, darling", she continued with slightly forced cheer to cover her embarrassment.

Rising again and turning to Snape, hoping that the rain would cover her flush, she said: "Sir, meet my daughter, Lorna Fairbanks. She's six. In a few weeks she'll be starting school at St Martin's as a boarder on a scholarship."

Keeping an eye on Hermione's strange blush he turns to Lorna, "Why, I see you're taking after your mother in intelligence, young lady. St Martin's is an excellent school. Not many children make it there from this place. Perhaps with rich parents...," at his wistful tone Hermione's heart stopped in her chest, was he talking about Harry's mum?, "but getting in a scholarship no less...Well done."

At that Lorna smiled wide, nodded with child-like gravitas, and excitedly said: "Yes, sir!" At that Severus stopped contemplating the strange blush that had risen in Hermione's cheeks after she had stumbled over his introduction and turned to Lorna again, "and in five years I'll be going to Hogwarts too!"

At her daughters words, Hermione was surprised to notice her former teacher show a hint of a smile, and, with a slightly pained and far-away look in his eyes, he said:

"We had better make sure you don't catch your death in this cold till then, don't we?"

And, turning to Hermione, he looked her deliberately in the eyes and said: "You too Miss Granger."

For a moment it felt like she was back in her old potions classroom and the question "What the hell happened to you and will you let me help you?" was one of the N.E.W.T. questions she never had the chance to take. Looking into his eyes that were boring into hers, she felt warm and safe. He, Severus Snape of all people, cared enough about her to help her. At his words she felt a sense of comfort and some tension leave her for the first time in a long time.

Readjusting her grip on Lorna's hand, she gave him a slight smile and a small nod. Returning her nod with an unfamiliar look in his eyes, he took to the other side of Lorna and proceeded to show them down Hodge Terrace to walk to the corner of Spinner's End.

Was it just her imagination or had the rain even lessened slightly?

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 **AN: I hope you'll decide to leave a review, please:-). It's a joy to read them.**

 **I'm making this story up as I go along so your reviews give me very helpful insight as to where this story could go - hopefully the wait for a new chapter won't be too long and I'll have the inspiration and time to update soon. I'm currently finishing up an undergrad degree and am preparing to move to the UK for a year abroad so I'm not sure when exactly I'll update next. I hope it'll be within two or, at most, two and a half weeks:). See you then.**


	5. Musing in the Rain

Walking along the narrow pavement of Hodge Terrace Severus was reeling at this turn of events. Not only did Miss Granger not grab her child and run, she had also allowed him to let him host them for dinner.

How long had they gone without a proper meal, he wondered. Goddamn that husband of hers. If he got his hands on him... And why, oh why had she stayed, like his mother had... Yet the fact that she was brave enough to come along with him had showed that she had some fight left in her, still. He would have to nurture that carefully.

The whole time he had felt a chill run through his body, that had nothing to do with the weather... Ever since she had come face to face with him, he had not been able to sense her magic signature. A cold fear gripped him. Had the same fate befallen her, that had befallen his mother? Trauma so severe, that, coupled with disuse of magic, had led to a loss of magic?

Did he know anyone at St. Mungo's who was doing research on that? Why had he never done so? Was it time for him to stop running from his demons too, and start to face them? The major part of his work with the antivenin department was over, after all... He could set his sights on new projects... If only he could gather the courage to deal with his most secret pain. That was the part of his life the damn papers hadn't dissected ad nauseam and Potter had wisely never asked about.

But glancing over Lorna at Hermione, her shivering frame huddled in her threadbare coat and her matted, dripping caramel-brown hair such a far cry from the confident girl he knew so long ago, he thought: "How can I not? I have been looking for her for 7 years. And Lorna is suffering too, like I once had."

Just then, as if sensing him staring, Hermione raised her eyes from the ground and glanced over at him. Their eyes locked and his heart halted in his chest. And when she smiled and his heart thudded back into life a first crack had been formed in the ice. Caught, he quickly averted his eyes.

At that, fear and pain griped his heart: "Is this what I fear it is? Do pay attention, Severus, girls like her don't fall in love with guys like you. Hasn't history taught you enough? I must not give in to this kind of feeling again, I just can't go through that again... I cannot. Take heed. But maybe the others' teasing insinuations were right, after all you had been looking for her for not one, two, three or four years but seven. No one expected you to. And you would have continued looking."

Steeling himself, he focused on the splash of his boots in the rain, sending ripples across the gutter, as he showed them round the street corner. They had reached Spinner's End at last. At the end of this terrace, they would have finally reached the safely of his home - Molly's dinner sitting heavily in his pocket.

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 **AN: So sorry for the long wait, but I though a short chapter is better than no chapter:-)! I am swamped with work and life is as busy as ever:-).**


	6. Out of the Rain

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

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She'd never had too much to do with Jack's friends, if she did, then they had grown apart years ago. Whenever she crossed their paths at the local Tesco's - which was rare - they ignored her, as if she was weird scum that was beneath them, not worth a glance. She sometimes had the suspicion that they had tried to tell Jack to leave her and Lorna to their freakish ways and holier-than-thou diction and look for a more normal wife.

She was glad for their dismissive treatment of her though, preferring it to the malicious wagging of tounges. And if she were to leave Jack, she mused, and be seen in public with Snape by one of them, for however long Snape would allow them to stay, they would probably just give them the evil eye, confident in the knowledge of being better, less weird and more normal, than both those weirdos taken together.

Instead of staying in Cokeworth when kindergarden let out, Hermione had preferred to take Lorna to the library in a better neighbourhood, spending their time reading and in reading groups. Both were tight-lipped about home and more personal matters to people they grew closeer with as time went by, but their time at the library helped them gain some space and peace, even if just for a little while. It was there too, listening in on women talking of getting divorces and after teaching herself how to use the internet, that slowly but surely the idea of leaving Jack grew in Hermione.

She had escaped the Snatchers and made it out of the Wizarding World. Surely she could leave Jack and make a new start in the Muggle World too. Seeing the end of Spinner's End grow closer, and emembering her earlier ruminations in the kitchen, she decided that if she had been waiting for a sign to tell her to finally move on with her life, for Lorna's sake and for hers, then, surely, this was it.

Stopping at the last house on Spinner's End, Snape unlocked the door, turned to them and ushered them inside with an inviting gesture. Lorna looked at her and with a nod Hermione allowed her daughter to enter. Passing behind her and passing _him_ Hermione stepped over the threashold and made the decision that yes, she would tell Snape and that yes, she would be determined to not go back.

* * *

The walk to the end of Spinner's End - as she deciphered the street sign, with the 'd' at the end hidden under persistent dirt - had taken longer than expected, Lorna thought, but she didn't mind, the further away from her father - the better. Now that the rain had stopped she thought she saw the beginnings of trees beyond the end of the street and even the sound of the canal flowing by. What a difference to her part of the neighbourhood, where there was only stone and streets and houses and cars.

Finally stopping in front of the last house, Lorna couldn't believe her luck. Her mother had not changed her mind: turning from her mother's nod, she smiled at the enigmatic Professor and entered Spinner's End no. 89, feeling her mother, her hand resting on her shoulder, behind her.

Seeing the houses look as miserable from the outside as the ones on her street, she was amazed at what she found inside. Threadbare carpeting under her shoes after she finished climbing the stairs, yes, but the walls! Shelves, laden and laden with books, two comfortable looking sofas facing each other, a low coffee table between them, a telly near the opposite wall, both, again, stacked with books. It was heaven.

"I'm afraid it's nothing more luxurious than what you must be used to but at least it's relatively warm," she heard Snape say. "But the books, sir! The books!" she found herself replying with a delighted laugh.

She heard Snape chuckle. "Yes, there's books," he paused, "Not too many are suitable for a young ladies to read but perhaps, after dinner, your mother might help you select one for bedtime reading?" Distracted by the sofa, Lorna pulled off her shoes and ran towards it to let her hand run over it, engrossed by the smooth, soft surface.

* * *

After a pause Severus added:"Miss Granger?", seeing that she was staring, as if she hadn't heard him the first time.

Hermione broke out of her reverie. "Yes, yes... We can do that. I'm sure that -" she cleared her suddenly tight throat and continued quietly, "there must be a copy of _Hogwarts: A History_ here somewhere, eh?" She turned to look at him with a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. They looked a bit too bright, too, it seemed to him.

"Perhaps you'd like to sit down? Miss Granger? I'll get dinner ready for us." How strange that last sentence sounded, she thought, coming from the mouth of someone else, and directed at her, too. For so long she'd had to bear the burden of responsability all on her own. She felt a bit overwhelmed and light-headed too.

Moving to bend down to untie her shoes, she felt his hands on her shoulders. "If I may - you look a little faint, do stay upright". Bending downwards he untied her laces. She was grateful he did not see her face then. She had to blink back tears at this, a kinder gesture than any she could remember being performed for her in a long time. After seeing him conjure a pair of slippers she toed off her shoes and slipped into them, letting Snape guide her steadily towards the sofa, welcoming the softness of the sofa as she sank into it.

Giving Hermione's shoulder a last reassuring squeeze as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the head rest he called out to Lorna:"Would you like to see some magic whle I set the table? Perhaps you'd like to bring your mother a glass of water too?"

Showing Lorna through to the kitchen he forced himself not to look back at the woman sitting on the sofa. He wondered what the hell was wrong with him - he was not usually this disposed to touching others, much less reassuring touches. And undoing her shoes for her? Merlin's beard!

His last thought before leaving the sitting room was that if his colleagues or the others from the Order knew, they'd surely send him to the Janus Thickey ward for an in depth assessment of whether he'd suffered spell damage. He did feel like she'd put a spell on him - but in a good way that was scary at the same time... Why did he feel strangely warm inside when she smiled at him? Since when did he want to make another person smile and be happy? And this wasn't just any person. Unbelievably enough for him, this was Hermione Granger.

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A/N: So sorry for the long wait! Hope the longer chapter makes up for it :-)

I'm still not quite sure where I'm going with this story but I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you like, do leave a review and let me know what you think!


	7. Rainy Back Stoop (i)

He hadn't smoked in eons, but, finding on old packet after he rummaged in a drawer, gave him pause.

Subsequently the morning found him smoking on the still-wet stoop of the backdoor out the kitchen. It was 5.56 am and he was looking at the rain-drenched, lush garden.

Hermione had slept badly the night before and thrown up Molly's cooking at 2 am. After giving her a dose sleeping potion and something to settle her stomach, he hadn't really been able to get back to sleep.

He'd watched the sun rise, cup of tea beside him. His usual routine, yet nothing about his life was the same. He couldn't believe that this time yesterday he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams that this would be the day he'd find Hermione Granger. He also couldn't have fathomed what a desperately sad story she'd have in her baggage. As if the snatcher attack hadn't been enough. He sighed.

"Don't let Lorna see you with that"

He woke from his reverie and nearly did a double take when he saw her standing above him in the doorway, like an etheral beauty in the cream and lace nightgown - transfigurated to fit. The very nightgown he'd orginally meant to gift his mother on his next trip to Ireland under the pretence of caring. To try and concince himself that he was still human and not a feelingless monster. And, of course, as a means to get the overly nosy care staff off his back.

"Hm -" he swallowed his mouthful of tea, "you're right, of course." His face morphed into a quiet rueful smile. "Apologies... I don't often..." He busied himself by thoroughly squashing what little remained of the cigarette on the stair he sat on.

"Sleep well?", he asked with a shame-roughened voice, anything to distract himself.

"Yes, I did, potion's worked fine..."

Pause. He leaned back against the door jamb, deliberated asking and then did:

"Do you often have nightmares like that, Miss Granger?"

He could see her bite her lip.

"No, I don't actually. That's why it suprised me. But, um...", taking all her courage together and looking away from him and out at the dripping garden, she said "ah - I thought for a while of... a plan. To - divorce Jack and convince him to move south with his best friend, but...", here she petered out.

"Yes... I overheard them last night, they talked about it", Severus supplied. Then giving her the space to continue he said, "In your own time. You don't have to rush. It's still early after all." Lorna will still be asleep, surely?

A glance at the clock on the wall above the sink though the door past Hermione told him it was only 6.30 am. In the morning sun he thought she looked radiant, even still too pale and slightly gaunt as she was. He forced himself to not look at the hem where the nightgowm ended. How he wanted to hug her tight and just keep her safe. How could it be that she had been in Cokeworth all this time and he hadn't noticed? And, how could anyone mistreat such a beautfiful, kind and caring woman, he thought, as the anger at Jack started coursing through him once more.

Hermione continued, "of course, under normal circumstances, I could do it alone just fine, a C _onfundus_ here and there and we'd be divorced and he'd be gone, but... I can't do nearly any magic. I can't do magic like I used to. It's all gone, Severus. And I haven't got any money."

A deep sob broke fee of her, "What should I do? How should I have protected Lonra? I've no magic and the wizarding world... I'm so afraid." She still sounded as aggrieved as he'd been chilled when he couldn't feel her magic in the street last night. She sank down onto the step beside him. He put an arm around her, before hunching forward and running his hands across his face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then couldn't get the words out. How long had it been that he'd last spoken of this? All the way back to around the first anniverary of his waking up, was it?

Back then Anthoy Appleforth, busy-body team leader at the potions and trauma response research project, had asked him - well, it was a thinly veiled order, really - to see someone. Someone, for example, like Mind Healer Horatio Brandwidth at his therapy rooms in Hampstead. Quieted away in a calm part of North London. Large detached houses, big gardens, very few bustling tube stations. Merlin, the sweat, when he learned of the location. Granger-land.

Appleforth was smart enough to know that Severus would not want to see a Mind Healer within St Mungo's itself, a place teeming with noise. It really had been a wake-up call for Severus, however. He had to admit to himself how much the case of one Hermione Granger's dissapearence had distressed him. Even without giving away details to Brandwidth, he could see that this had been the _one_ thing he'd lied to himself about.

Yet, Appleforth couldn't have known that Brandwidth was located in the same Bourough Severus knew the Gangers' still empty home to be... And so...

He couldn't help himself.

Before the first therapy session and under the pretence of getting some fresh air on Hampstead Heath, he walked by their home, disillusioned. A mistake, it turned out. He had to slip into St Jude's down the road, to stave off the sick, sick feeling and ringing in his ears. Guilt. Sorrow.

Brandwidth himself had turned out to be pleaseant enough, Severus was surprised to grudginly admit, but the talking and the _feeling_ were not. His years-long excess of Occlumency had done more harm than he'd thought or feared. And talking about his father, the rage, his mother, the disappointment, not to mention Lily and the war... He left each session with headaches the like of which he'd never even had during the war.

On choice occasions it made him him take the tube from Golders Green rather than apparating direct: _anything_ to buy himself some time to calm down before facing his colleagues at St Mungo's, after his "lunch hour".

Still, Brandwidth did not push for details Severus didn't want to give, nor was he too pushy about Severus not keeping apponitments, for which Severus was eternally grateful. But even so, despite taking a liking to Brandworth, the attempt at therapy didn't last long. It didn't sit riight with him. Habits too engarined, hard to crack. And it was easier to go back to lying to himself, increasing his self-loathing. Appleforth's suggestion? The man could stick it where the sun didn't shine.

He'd found Brandwidth's card under the packet of cigarettes this morning, however. Would he remember Severus? Should he go see Horatio again? To talk in cofidence? Maybe he would be able to, now.

Back in the present, Severus took his hands off his face and continued, "you will know, Miss Granger, from your doubtlessly obsessive study of back issues of _The Daily Prophet_ , that my mother married a muggle." Deep breath, steady on.

"What you won't find in those infernal papers, however, is that it was a miserable match. For everyone involved."

Hermione couldn't believe her ears, why was her former Professor telling her this?

...

 **A/N: I shall thank you for reviewing.**


	8. Rainy Back Stoop (ii)

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews!**

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She jerked from her sleep. The bedframe too narrow. Cool. No body beside her. Then she remembered. She was at Severus`. The pale morning light streaming gently through the North-facing window, stil wet from a light drizzle. Cosy, if not a little austere. It all seemed so unreal. And Jack would wonder where she was, if he hadn't fallen asleep somewhere before making it back home. She had to tell Severus of her plan. Set it in motion. Today.

She ran her hand through her hair. Remebered Severus's kindness - holding it for her as she threw up just hours before. While Lorna enjoyed the food a lot and the explanation of who Molly was even more - Severus had been so good at explaining it to her, Hermione had felt too teary - Hermione hadn't coped well with the sudden change in diet. Better stick to something lighter for a while, work your way up.

The clock read 6.10am. As she put on the nightgown that lay on the rickety chair next to the window she couldn't help but feel a twinge of... was it jealousy?

Why would Severus Snape keep a muggle-made nightgown in his home? He'd shortened the hem to fit her size the night before, but the spell couldn't hide the 'M&S' labeling in the back. Snape shopping at Marks & Spencer? Unthinkable. So it had to have been left by someone? That twinge of jealousy again.

Don't be silly, he's just being kind to you, nothing more to it. But oh, she was so straved for affection. His affectionate touches so kind. But that's all it was, kindness, surely. And surely too, he has a right to a life, and he wasn't that bad to look at, now that the war was over. She quickly roused herself from her ruminations.

After forgoing looking in the mirror in the bathroom while washing her face, she looked in the bedroom her daughter slept in. Careful not to wake her she sat on her bed lightly stroking her hair.

And, a little while later, she found Severus sitting on a step out the backdoor of the kitchen and wondered, waiting with baited breath, what he would reveal next. Why was he telling her this?

"Much as yourself, Miss Granger, my mother sought shelter from a wizarding world that was cruel, dangerous and unkind. She was fleeing from her parents. They wanted, as was Pureblood custom, to force her into an arranged marriage.

However, Eileen ran, met a man called Tobias Snape, fell in love, or what she perceived to be love, married, and stayed. Outlived him, even. Hah", he laughed gruffly, "and this is something only Molly knows. And she found out by accident. The nightgown you're wearing? That was her idea: 'a suitable present'..."

"Yes, I did wonder why it said "M&S" on the label... I didn't think you were the type to shop for nighgowns at Marks & Spencer. I thought maybe one of your fomer lovers- former lovers had," she fell silent out of embarrassment. He smiled at her wryly.

"A flattering guess, Miss Granger, but no. My - ah," here it was his turn to be embarrassed, he stroked his neck, "paramours wouldn't leave anything behind, no matter how insistent on their part.

No, one Eileen Snape is still alive and, more or less, kicking. She's in a care home in Ireland and the care staff are on my back about me not visiting 'nough. May the present placate them in their desires to see me perform filial duties..." Here he sighed again and ran a hand across his face.

"She moved back to Ireland after my father shot himself when I was 17, somehow surivied the war without my knowing or caring. And then, one morning, I get a letter in the post from O'Loughlin's Care Home, Cork - my mother in a care home," another gruff laugh, "when she never cared for me." Pause. At the look on her face he could have kicked himself "Sorry for getting upset, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's understandable. No parent should allow bad things to happen to their child."

"Her- Miss Granger, you didn't have a chioice. You cared for Lorna best as you could, body _and_ soul. My mother did neither. My mother's situation was different to your's. As much as it pains me to say, you were right in being cautious about returning for help to the magical world. It was a bad situation and you made the best of it. You are loving and kind to Lorna, and she knows that she is loved. My mother wasn't even that. You mustn't feel guilty."

The 'if anything, _I_ should feel guilty for missing your presence all those years in this neighbourhood' hung unsaid between them. Hermione was still too moved by his previous words to argue. And he slipped up on her name. Did that mean anything?

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 **A/N: I shall thank you for your reviews.**


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